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| ~*~december 22~*~ ok... well i made this little news section and i dont really have any news... my mom and i are at each other's throats though because i have been home for so many days with her... i dont even know what day is it. i dont know waht time it is and i desperately need to leave the house before i go stark raving mad. tomorrow i have to go to my grandpa's house so i can "bond" with my family and they can make me break out in hives some more... thats always fun. and on sunday i get to bond with the OTHER half of my family, the cranky greek half. but i get to see my baby preston and my celine and morgan... so i guess thats cool. and they have cable... thats always a plus... so thats the news for today.
ps. yesterday was sam's birthday... HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! ~*~december 23~*~ well i guess TECHNICALLY its saturday... its midnight and once again joanna is awake due to insomnia... mullet man and i went to see the grinch tonight... my favorite part was when he came back and the dog was dancing around to xmas music... it reminded me of maddy mo. so i finally got to leave the house. when i saw people and civilization i almost had a coronary. ok i just woke up... its 12:17 and i have to wait for my dad to come get me and then we are leaving for virginia... fun. sarah and i have already had our phone conversation for the day so that means i have nothing left to do. see you guys monday when i resurface. merry christmas! ~*~december 25~*~ well its 3:38 am and im at the hospital with my momma. we just caused trouble with the fart machine, remember that heather? and its christmas... so merry christas to everyone. i've basically been online the whole time ive been here. its been fun.... i figured out my new cd player.... harassed fruity boy (ac...) and now i am doing absolutely nothing productive. its a great life... my holidays werent too bad. my dads side of the family was good. the turkey was REALLLLY good... and my aunt made me my own chocolate cake... at my moms side, it was better though. i got to see my godson preston, and my cousins celine and morgan. i was so happy to see my baby boy. he didnt even cry this time when i picked him up... hehe last time i saw him, he freaked out when i picked him up. but nows hes my little angel... sike he smeared melted crunch bars all over me. so that was my holiday so far. later today i am going home to my mommas to open my presents and my dad is bringing his stuff for me over there too so i can open them before i go to sleep. ive been awake since 8 am sunday morning. maybe after this my sleep pattern will get better.... doubtful... ~*~december 27~*~
after disapearing for a few days, i have resurfaced... i know no one missed me. i started running yesterday and today i am so fucknig sore. i hate running. lets see... what else is new... i had a good hair day today and my mom and i made fun of a couple of ice princesses at montgomery mall. i offered the anorexic one a cookie. she didnt see the humor... what a pity... but that wasnt the highlight of my day.. oh no.. hehe. that was when chad zik was talking about sledding down a hill and hitting horse poop. instead of saying "when i was sledding down a hill.." he said "when i was sledding down a whore". IT WAS A MOMENT OF BEAUTY ~*~december 30~*~
well i missed my track meet cuz i had 103* temperature, so thats poopy. so yeah, i have strep throat. so no immature new years and no sleepover at sarah's (sorry guys) cuz my momma has quarantined me to the house. it sucks so bad. and NO a munkey did not kidnap me. i've only been non-existant because im sick. call me if you want to get a hold of me because the computer screen makes my head hurt really bad.
it was supposed to practically BLIZZARD here last night and today, but of course there is no snow. it didnt even flurry. even the waether channel was wrong, which leads me to believe the end of the world is coming. therefore, everybody needs to stock up on water and toilet paper because the end of the world is coming. the end didnt come for the year 2000, no... it came for the year 2001! hah! joanna has explained the lack of snow for the frederick area. (no need to worry, im just wacky cuz im psming and my medicine is making me insane and i have severe cabin fever.) ~*~december 31~*~
happy new years eve everyone! joanna celebrated her new year's with the folks in moscow because she is going to bed at 10 and not waking up. sarah, dont forget to tape marilyn manson for me!!! oh and sarah... yeah, munkie is the OTHER white meat (you are the wind beneath my wings...) ~*~january 1~*~
happy new year folks. joanna was social today and actually got to leave the house and she went to a party. she had lots of fun talking to my moms gay piano teacher and his lover about the evil catholic church and doc martins. it was great. and there was chocolate mousse... yummmmm it was the best. so my new years wasnt too horribly atrocious. sarah and i watched the ball drop while we were on the phone so it was good and i am going to finish my celebration when i get my tape of marilyn manson and his new years eve concert.
ugh tomorrow i have to go back to school. sarah and i spent almost all day doing crappy homework and retarded studying for midterms. so that sucks. i hope i am sick tomorrow so i dont have to go. yes, sarah, thats right, SO I DONT HAVE TO GO. that way you can hump the penis master's leg all you want in theology without me cringing in horror. ~*~january 4~*~
im in a really shitty mood today BECAUSE I HATE TO RUN AND MY MOM WONT LET ME STAY HOME SO I CAN SLEEP. roar. im tired and i am still super sick from god damn strep throat and i have exams next week.
in health today i came up with a theory about THE BELLS. i would write it out but im so pissed off at the world right now, it would not be beneficial for society. ~*~january 6~*~
well i cant run for even longer now for some reasons that i dont want to talk about cuz they are really scary. and i added a LOT of stuff to my site today. so check out my theories. heather and i are anarchists now. i am stevo and she is heroin bob (if you dont know what i am talking about, rent slc punk. and if you do, i love you). and sarah and i checked out some really great sites so i put some of that on my site. hope you guys all enjoy it.
im actually at my dads this weekend so im cranky. and i am pissed at my goddamn blood cells. those of you who know what im talking about are special and those of you who aren't cant handle the truth. but you all must read about the bells and the laptops and learn to handle those truths. and maybe if you feel especially empowered, try reading about the reindeer liberation front. ~*~january 11~*~
i am desperately ill yet AGAIN. strep throat still i think. so i am even MORE miserable than last time i had it. finals were decent... i guess as decent as finals can be. and finally joanna can commence her 4 day weekend of sitting on her arse and doing absolutely NOTHING.... god this is the life. hopefully mullet man will bring home my movie for me.... i want him to rent slc punk but noooo (i went into great detail about this for you heather). so im hoping for american beauty. joanna hasnt seen it and if the oscars are any indication, its gotta be good. ~*~january 14~*~
well... I FEEL BETTER TODAY!! and i cant wait till friday heather. its going to be great.
~*~january 20~*~
last night i had the best time thanks to heather. we went to a show at the clover hill club house and it was so great. spaceman spiff is AWESOME. i suggest all people (except skanky freshmen) to go and see them because they are amazing and that way you can say you met them before they became famous because these dudes are gonig to take over the world. its like 4 oclock and i am dead tired. i sleep 13 hours last night and i am skipping the track meet tomorow. so good luck you guys, i will be asleep. the weather outside is absolutely miserable. its snowing and sleeting and raining. so basically it cant make up its mind of what it wants to do. insanity.... ~*~january 21~*~
its 8:24 IN THE FUCKING MORNING. snow plows kept waking me up.... there is like 8 to 10 inches outside. if school isnt cancelled on monday i am going to cry. i only slept 5 hours last night. i think this might have something to do with the fact that before last night i slept like 13 hours.... and i was planning on going shopping today. so i dont know what will become of that. my dad is outside trying to supress the snow and im just like "dad dont even bother, its just going to keep coming back and there is nothing you can do about it." i bet the rest of the county or whatever is in a mass hysteria, running to the supermarkets for water and bread. PEOPLE IF YOU NEED WATER, MELT SNOW. and its not like this is exactly the apocalypse. i mean, we are having a tropical heat wave. jsut think of it that way because the bank thermometer by the fort (help us all) said it was 83 degrees last night.... i think this might be due to radiation. im waiting for my hair to start falling out in clumps any day now. maybe in the summer, the radiation will make me have a really good tan. i hope so cuz i am tired of being monochromatic.
oh POOP. my dad wants to take the christmas tree down today. im like nooooooo. we finally got a tree stand so that we can put water in it and the needles dont fall off TOO badly. its not that bad really... as long as we vacuum and im never here to actually witness the christmas tree's last days of glory. at moms, thank god the evil plastic pine cleaner has been put in the bomb shelter (aka my basement). that thing was ugly. but back to the task at hand. so now that we can WATER it, i want to keep it up longer. i dont care if its a fire hazard. its not as if i am going to set fire to it. i just want to celebrate my birthday with it. my birthday is only march 18. so by then the tree can get really settled and establish its presence. ~*~january 27~*~
i was in a track meet today... thats just SO much fun considering the shitty night i have previous to it. those of you who know, know why. but those of you dont... DONT FUCKING ASK. the 600 was ok... i beat two girls so i guess that wasnt too awful. the relay was cool. and i fell asleep on the floor.
heather, marta, and i went to a show thursday night... we didnt get to stay to see spaceman spiff though so it wasnt as great as it could have been. but it was still cool. we had lots of fun and christ is damn sexy.
today after my father (the NON EXISTANT ONE) showed up, i went to goodwill looking for a bookshelf and i found the greatest thing EVER. its an old beatles record and its got the best picture of them. im going to put it in my room and worship it. the records and everything are in perfect conditon. im so happy. i love it!
i am really craving mashed potatoes. the man who claims to be my father is maknig them for me out of guilt. isnt it weird how even thoguh i hate cheese, i love TONS of it on my potatoes? just a random thought....
last night, before my night turned shitty, the track team all went to the olive garden and we harassed the staff. it was sooooo great when they sang their little song to katie. muhaha and the waiter looked like geovani ribsi (heather!) and she got his autograph. and i dressed mr rippeon up like a ukranian refugee. so we decided we were the ukranian refugee reunion table. hehehe you had to be there!
so im sitting here sipping my raspberry peach snapple and i am thinking about the wonders of the buddy list. isnt it rather ODD that people who claim to be out on their away message never seem to go idle? so basically, they are looking at porn online and dont wish to be disturbed. which leads me to my next thought. why not just sign off instant messenger or block everyone (if you have aol) when you look at porn? you dont have to make it so obvious. jesus christ. ~*~january 28~*~
i went shopping today... extremely theraputic. i got some purdy green pants and a lovelly grey shirt with yellow sleeves. im such a clothes horse. i just ordered some shit from delias too... i really need to stop shopping.
i started painting a bookshelf again today. THAT is even more theraputic than shopping. i love doing creative shit. heather, its going to be so great once i figure out what colors to use. my hands have a layer of white paint on them so its really interesting trying to type. my fear of splinters has been renewed. sarah knows what im preachin bout here. eek.
i have nothing really sarcastic to say today. i saw a homeless drunkard today strolling aimlessly along the streets of downtown frederick. that was really cool. it was even cooler when my dads cell phone rang and the man bellowed "make the bells stop!!" see, this just goes to prove my conspiracy theory about the bells. and you all think im crazy....
new update: the christmas tree at my fathers is STILL in the upright position, fully decorated. i am so proud of its stamina. barely any of the needles have fallen off. that or my dad has done a really good job vacuuming them up. also, the pumpkin in front of my mom's house is still there too. i love perpetuating the holidays. ~*~february 3~*~
sorry i havent updated in a long time.. its been such a fucked up week, you have no idea. i dont want to get into it but i just want sean to know that im here for you! last night caitlin and i slept over at heathers and it was the GREATEST. you guys, im so glad i went. you have no idea. we went to the mall and it was soooo awesome even though chris didnt come. we got free stuff from the people at the arcade and we got free pretzels!!! it was the coolest. and we have bracelets from... justin, right? and we harassed the guys at suncoast movies store.. hehe eric is a mean jerk but john is awesome (he unlocked the gate and gave me a hug) and we took pictures with ronald mcdonald... lets see... what else? we made friends with the mall security. he did really weird things with his hands.. it was scary. and he told us all the stuff he has peirced... TOO much info buddy. the women's track meet for tomorrow was postponed, thank you jesus. so i dont have to get up at the butt crack of dawn to go run in circles. and less than a week until heathers party. woo hoo. my grandpa is visiting me and my dad this weekend and its pretty cool. i cant believe i have survived this past week... but i have, somehow. so... thats my daily insight. ~*~february 5~*~
yay for snow, poop for coldness. it basically blizzarded today but then the damn sun came out and melted most of it. my only hope for another day of no school is that it will all freeze and create a deadly sheet of black ice. i can hope... right?
i did basically nothing today. i woke up to late to watch regis :(... i finished heathers birthday present today though. so thats a good thing...
i added a section last night with pictures of all my people... so check it out. i am worknig on getting more up and stuff, so be patient, dammit. ~*~february 10~*~
HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEATHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
friday was heather's party and it was the greatest. last chance, spinfire, and spaceman spiff played and it was AWESOME. all three bands kicked ass. so go to mp3.com and download spaceman spiff playing hot butt naked sex... its a good song people. and go to record and tape traders and get spinfire's self titled cd, ITS SO GREAT. im listening to it right now... and i like john... hehehehe hes got a bondage belt. and i took lots of pictures, so i will get them up as soon as i visit cvs.
today was the girls track championships.... all i have to say is WE WAS ROBBED in the 4x400. that makes me so angry. katie, i love you! um... what else?
the party was just so great. and those of you LOWLIFES who didnt come, i hope you all burn in hell forever.
mr rippeon hit me in the nose by accident with his elbow and it currently looks like marsha brady... wimper. he thinks i broke it, but i doubt it.
the party was soooooo cool. peter tackled me in the mud though.. that wasnt cool. and spaceman spiff played a goldfinger song even though its not really a goldfinger song.. and that unbelievable song and we gave them their first encore!!!! and joey's outfit was the greatest thing ever!!!
this week, the fort burned monkies TWO DAYS IN A ROW. so on the second day of the oppression, my mom was driving me home and i was lecturing her about how that was the signal that the apocalypse was coming.... so i guess i was wrong. but if the munkies are burnt more frequently i am going to cry. it just smells so gross. its really opression of the cloverhill area... and we dont have to take it. we juts all need to band together and revolt!!!!
by the way, i added some links and some things to my shit list. so check them out. and all of you have to sign my guestbook, its under the contact section.
february 15
hm.. well valentines day sucked... cupid can take his fucking arrows and shove them up his little diapered ass. anywayz.... i like john. hehehehe i honestly think he died. i just called and jonathan's dad answered and was like "i havent seen him for a few days." SHOULDNT HE BE WORRIED?? i am... i think he died. wimper. heather, YOU BETTER KEEP UP YOUR END OF THE BET!!! hehehe
today at practice, even though i was in pain, it was the greatest thing ever! cuz heather, thomas and i went rummaging along route 180 and found some REALLY cool things. hehe i found an old hubcap!!! its the greatest thing ever. my mom wouldnt let me put in it her car though, so i left it on the hood of mr rippeon's truck. muhahaha. and heather found a little shoe (I WANT IT!) and a liscense plate holder and a little tiger's head. and thomas found a really cool coffee mug. its the greatest thing EVER. hehehe i want it to stop fucking raining because it makes my joints ache really badly.
we had a lacrosse meeting today!!!!!!!!!!!!! 13 days till we start practicing! fifi says hi to everyone!! we had 15 people show up for the meeting, so that is AWESOME. but im disapointed because we dont have any freshmen... heather and i have to recruit some because we REFUSE to carry water again this year. and we need someone to haze. i want to get some anorexic freshmen so i can do the thing where they have to strip down to their underwear and i circle their fat in magic marker. that way they will think they are fat! muhahaha.
chad thinks im the anti christ because i knocked over chip... that was the greatest thing ever. hehehe
so its been a fairly decent day. sarah didnt come to school, as usual. my theory is because we didnt have an out of uniform day and no field trip, so there is no reason for her to come. its all very logical.
OH MY GOD. i forgot to write about what else i found!!! ITS THE BEAVER TESASER! hahaha its a dildo. acutally, we just found the box, because this is frederick and those country folk know to keep their dildos but throw out the box onto a highway. its great. and on the box it said (and i quote) "quivers like a deer in the headlights of a car" HOW GREAT IS THAT??? february 17
good morning lovelly people... sike. i just woke up and im kinda cranky. sarah, heather, caitlin and i spent SIX hours at the mall last night. can we say mallrats?? but it was so much fun, even though the security guards corrupted our innocent minds (angry dragon) and caitlin got one of the hat world guys in serious trouble with his girlfriend... i bought leopard print shoe laces for my docs so im really happy. tomorrow is my school's little dance thing for valentines day. that will be interesting. heather and i are going to over throw The System by wearing sneakers with our dresses. the mall security guy thought we were skinheads cuz of our docs. it was not cool. and we visited the suncoast guys again. john, the one that i have a picture of hugging me, we there for like 5 minutes but he ran away when he saw us... the guy at the arcade gave us handcuffs, so we all handcuffed ourselves to each other and walked around like a chain gang. it was kinda cool. and in hatworld, i got to sit behind the counter and i went through the drawers and i found stickers and a roll of tiolet paper, which i promptly deposited in my purse. so i had lots of fun, but zack (hat world guy #2) wouldnt let me staple his hair or give him a haircut like matsky. then hat world guy #1 (derek) was cornered the the freshman (caitlin) and his girlfriend was practically SEETHING. it was bad. and then heather yelled at me for putting a sticker on hat world guy #2's arm. its not my fault he has hairy arms. later, heather sprayed silly string at the suncoast guys and that was really bad.
i found out yesterday that john is 20. thats real good. just peachy even. but i still like him. hehe i got my pictures back from heather's party but i have like one of him and you can barely see him. its poopy. i scanned most of them, so i will work on getting them up here.
sarah and i have been on the phone all morning discussing last nights "happenings". i am realizing that i hate all those retarded "girl rules" that say you cant like a boy your friend also likess even though you talked to him first and all that BULL SHIT. thats all it is, is bullshit. but hey what can i do about it?? if i dont succumb to the fucking rules, then i will be a lonely wanderer on the great path of life. so its a no win situation. being a girl sucks because we are so fucking catty. its ridiculous. im not even going to get into the monthly THING. so i just grin and bear it.
today is a day of sadness people. my father comformed and took down the christmas tree. it is a sad day indeed. february 19
ok, ok i'll admit it. i had fun at the dance last night. at first i was pissy about it because i REALLY did not want to have to wear a dress with a damn strapless bra and have to do all this girly crap because of a dance which i had no date to anyways. but i went.... thanks to sarah, heather, caitlin, erin, and katie... god damn peer pressure. sarah and heather and i did man sandwiches, which was really cool. poor little french won the valentine's day king or whatever award it was.... the look on his face was so sad. since i am admitting i had a good time last night, i should also admit i danced with a freshman.... i would hang my head in shame, but i actually had fun. he knew how to dance and that was lots of fun, so i just went with it. and i danced with french (big french) so i had fun there. our little twirl was cool buddy!
i was the ONLY one who's mother let out of the house with sneakers on. so i was the only one that overthrew The System. its cool though. my feet didnt end up hurting, so that was all i cared about. lots of stuff happened too. caitlin cut her hair and its SMOOTH! hehe it looks purdy. and she called eric, that was cool. hes not a virgin... interesting. february 24
the hatred of the youth of america: an essay
i was in the mall today (where else?) when an old hag told her poor little impressionable daughter to stay away from me, like i am some freak of nature. and the look that woman gave me... i wanted to slap her. but i refused to buy into the sterotypes of today's youth. people really do believe that we are insolent and thats a crock of SHIT. i mean SURE some people my age do some stupid shit. but not all teenagers do that. and even if we do, we learn from our mistakes. just because we look a little different is NO reason to have little children cower in terror from us. because of that woman, the little girl was afraid of me. i hope that that little girl grows up and rebels against her parents and peirces every orifice of her body and rages, RAGES INTO THE NIGHT. i am talking about the youth of america now, THE WORLD'S FUTURE. this is a call to all of you to not buy into the sterotypes that we are all sullen, dirty, insolent sub-humans. and i hope that all those people who think we are all horrible anti-christs die slow, torturous deaths and burn in hell for eternity.
the baby boomers think that because we stand behind some causes (example: the bells), we are disruptive. the truth is, we are only disruptive when we are enraged by the truths of society. at least WE care about the future enough to try to fight causes. if we didnt, who would? all the people going through their midlife crises would just let the world crumble to peices if we didnt take a stand and fight the munkies. give us some credit, dammit.
teenagers today have a lot more CRAP to deal with and a lot of it is stuff that the older generations put us through. we have to cope with our best friends getting kicked out for drugs and our parents divorcing and one trying to get you to hate the other. back when they grew up, it was the time of capri pants and fiesta ware. people knew not to acknowledge "family problems". they just went on living their lives as if nothing happened. just grin and bear it. but now teenagers have even greater problems and society has make it ok to acknowledge them. but the old people, set in their ways, refuse to accept the new traditions of society. so we have to deal with THAT too.
my next point is that we have the right to express ourselves now. and more people are doing it more than ever. its a great time to be an individual. but all we get for trying to look original are stares and finger pointing from the crotchety arthritic whores of the nursing home. media has played a large role in this. whenever a sitcom or a movie portrays a teenager, he or she is always moody, obnoxious, morose, and problematic. we are forever being stereotyped.
final summation:
continue fighting The System. never give up the persuit of anarchy. dont go quiety into the night. stand up to the comformists and never stop believing what you believe in.
MEMO:
march 10 (8 days till my birthday!! remember, i want BLACK AND PURPLE BALLOONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
I HAVE MADE MY TRUIPHANT RETURN!!!! my mother tried to suppress me, but i have grown back. so now i can be online. arent you all jumping for joy?
lots has happened since i last updated.... lacrosse season started. 21 people were at practice the other day and we have a goalie (GO GILLIGAN!!)... mr smith is an awesome coach except for the "trust" exercise we did on friday. that was HORRIBLE! i was so scary.
sarah and i saw chocolat last night. it was so great besides the fact that lulu and dada didnt come... wimper. but we DID get an aquarium and drink out of it. you gotta love that. sarah, the aquarium says hi. its still in my fridge.
momma cat and kitten have decided that we are hypocrits... its kinda sad. i feel so.... terrible. and its all the freshmen's fault. or not... im not sure yet.
tomorrow is the pool party for the indoor track team. that means bathing suits for all.... joanna is kinda scared. the only one that remotely fits is kinda small.... its purdy bad. i think i might swim in pants and a tshirt again this time even though last time sean almost drowned me.
last friday erin, sean, and i went to see spaceman spiff. it was pretty awesome. they got a new bassist (jake). so hes pretty cool. and he works in the mall. stupid phil doesnt work at suncaost anymore but i think i figured out where he lives! muhahahahaha.
erin and i almost died TWICE that night too... it was quite frightening. stop signs magically appear out of nowhere on boyers mill lane. i swear, never drive on that road at night, you may never make it home alive.
in biology we are doing this lab involving fruit flies. i fucking HATE fruit flies now and the lab isnt even over. first of all, they keep dying! first, they drowned in their food.... then, we drowned them with water.... then they just RANDOMLY commit fruit fly suicide. i went into school to check them and they were just laying there, dead. i almost cried. my favorite was when we put an alreay pregnant female in the male tubes and then we realized, hey shes not going to have the right babies. so we had to kill them. and then the female randomly DIED in another cross. i dont even know what the point of this lab is. is it to make me go completely schizophrenic?! and then to make it worse, this whole thing counts as a big huge part of my grade. biology is really going to be the death of me. i think mrs sherwin is secretly plotting my demise and deliberately killing my fruit flies. she sneaks in at night and kills them. and its all because she wants to see me fail.
march 12 (6 DAYS TILL MY BIRTHDAY)
today was.... interesting. i am in the most crippling pain in the world. and god damn ms rankin made me participate in pe even though i have cramps that are HORRIBLE. and if i take any more motrin ,advil, tylenol, etc. i will have to have my stomach pumped.
this morning my dad and i were behind the bus for the jeannie bussard center and the guy visually raped me. i swear to god. it was terrifying. i wish i had my video camera to catch it. i would cherish it forever.
the fort was burning the munkies today. that smell is the WORST thing in the world. and i videotaped the marines running around the fort today. that was pretty amusing. and i got a marines sticker from the marine that was at school today. i swear, the us military forces are invading my personal sphere. march 13 (5 days till my birthday)
im feeling MUCH better today. and i got grounded from the phone for a week because i was videotaping my moms ass while she was cooking dinner. but i can still get online!!! im so proud of myself for stopping while i was ahead and not getting the computer taken away took. hiel hitler.
mr smith didnt come to school today and neither did the guys lacrosse team coach, so we all practiced together and it was pretty fun actually. kinda chaotic, but i love chaos.
i have a biology test tomorrow so i have been studying for that like crazy. the fruit flies are still alive!! they probably arent virgins anymore, so i bet that as long as we keep this batch alive, then our experiment will finally work. im not really 100% clear about why we are actually DOING this, but i will figure that out later. march 14 (4 days till my birthday)
THE FRUIT FLIES HAD BABIES!!!!! oh my god, its a thing of beauty. i almost shed tears of joy. and the biology test was easy. amen.
i dont really have anything to write about today. i taped more of the fort detrick happenings today during breakfast. my mom made tortelinis for dinner.... mmmmm yeahhhhh. i dont know, nothing really that great happened today march 15 (3 days till my birthday)
we had a lacrosse meeting today because its raining. it was pretty good actually. we got our uniforms. i am number 13.... woo hoo, lucky 13!!! and i got my old jersey from last year too. it was kinda amusing when a *certain* person who shall remain nameless tried to squeeze her FAT BULBOUS ass into an size extra small skirt. thank god i wasnt the only person who saw the ridiculousness of that. we have a scrimage on saturday against palloti so hopefully that will go well.... its only a scrimage but it will be really good for the new people to see basically what we do.
tomorrow we get to wear green and white for st patricks day. but we cant wear jeans... thats bullshit. we might as well basically wear our uniforms. i am gonig to wear my lacrosse uniform though. some people are going to wear the skirts too, but i think its waaaay too cold.
im kinda flipping out because the guy i like might possibly be seduced by another female. and that pisses me off because she is SKANKY. and its really bugging me. sarah, im not mooing any more so it cant be that. hmmmm.
i updated almost every section today. mostly i just changed the colors around and stuff, but i added some stuff to all about me. i am thinking up more conspiracy theories, so once i get my shit together i will be sure to get them on here too.
i have to go make some mashed potatoes for my dinner and i have the overwhelming urge to videotape something. signing off from duty.
update for the daily update:
i am writing this after i wrote todays daily insight. I AM GOING TO GO ON A MASS KILLING SPREE. how the fuck can i compare to a girl that closely resembles a horse without acutally BEING one??? oh yeah, i forgot, SHE GIVES HEAD. i was fucking LEAD on. some one needs to be castrated for this. and i have a certain IDEA about who that fucking jackass is. march 16 (2 days till my birthday)
it rained almost all day today. it was one of the WORST days but now im feeling a wee bit better. tomorrow is saturday and im still not sure what i want to do for my birthday yet. any ideas??? email them to me!!
the scrimage for tomorrow got postponed due to the PISSY weather. so now i have to wait EVEN longer... mer. but this just means we can get even better and kick more ass when we DO eventually have the scrimage. that will be good.
i just want the world to know that i am HIGHLY disgusted by sarah today and she is diseased and gross and nasty and... i cant even think of more words to describe what she did today. all i have to say is she better 'fess up to poor lulu before he finds out and has his heart broken. i just cant beleive you. how gross can you get?! im highly enraged about this. march 20
my birthday was.... ok?! my mom got me black and purple balloons so i am happy about that. i didnt end up having any plans with anyone on saturday but im not getting into that again. heather and sarah are planning something for me on saturday but i have not been imformed of what that something is. all i know is they are picking me up at 5. i bet they are kidnapping me and sending me to tijuana. but i doubt it. just kidding you guys. in typical joanna fashion, i am trying to figure out what i am going to wear.
sarah and lulu have made happy and i am pleased to announce they are united as one... hehehe.
despite a SAVAGE attack by a certain NAMELESS whore on my team i plan on trying to play in the game tomorrow against smithsburg. my bruise has gotten a lot better (sarah... muhahaha) and i can walk again! its a miracle. by the way, sally JESUS DOES NOT LOVE YOU ANYMORE. congratulations to heidi and katie for being elected team captains. jesus loves you guys.
the fruit fly babies are alive now!!! its a thing of beauty folks. sam, you are so wonderful! you got them to LIVE!!!
ps. happy belated birthday to sean!!
march 24
i have been extremely lazy and busy this week so i havent realy updated anything. sorry kids. lots of news though plus my ingenious two cents that i added that you all seem to enjoy... sike
sally apologized to me this week but it was too late. then she tried to redeem herself by making a speech how we should all love each other and other shit. excuse me, but if we are supposed to love each other, then why does she tell people that they are going to hell and jesus doesnt love them?? so apparently shes off the team. there goes her supposed $15,000 scholarship... (two words: BULL SHIT) if i were her i would be too embarassed to ever be seen again. she should just succumb and become a nun. its her destiny.
last night was the first outdoor track meet of the season. it was... interesting. i guess.... it was interesting being in the 1200... sike that sucked lots of munkies. the 200 was really lots of fun though. i liked that one a lot. the 400...... ummm i dont want to think about it. we had barely warmed up when we were called to the line, but we tried and thats the best we could have done despite having two of the origional team people suddenly be in crippling pain... right. im not even going to comment on that one because i KNOW i will get my ass in trouble.
after the track meet, despite being really sick (i sound like a fucking drag queen from the gay riviera) i went to annies birthday "party".... yeahhhh k. that was interesting. i was molested by carmine trying to sit on my lap and disgusted by the abundance of PDAs. but other than that... it sucked. yep. im not even going to sugar coat it.
so right now i'm tired, i'm sick, and i'm rather fed up with the world and its bull shit. in case any of you were wondering why todays insight is so bitter.... march 25
well.... its sunday. im bored. i started reading tales of a punk rock nothing. its absolutely fabulous. its incredibly funning and it inspires me to plan an attack on my local kmart.... any joiners?
i helped heather with the spaceman spiff site today. lots of new pictures up there, so go and check them out. i got jakes screen name so i am all happy now. i like jake.... hehehe heather thinks its really funny cuz im all giddy and shit. this is the week that she tells mr pyromaniac that she likes him... HOPEFULLY. im tellin ya, be like lux and it will all be ok...
guess who's screen name is a carbon copy of yours truly. kelli foy... how gross is that? kornzwickedkitti... uhhh HELLO? dont even get me started. i just have one thing to say. you dont run a 400 in fucking SKETCHERS...
this week my school is trying to have another spirit week, for the spring sports... you KNOW its for baseball because seibo is in command this year. so tomorrow is bahama mama day. gag me with a rusty spoon. its going to be all the little fake plastic blonds in their little roxy t shirts trying to look all hawaiian and surfer girl-esque. whats the point of even participating if you are all going to be wearing exact duplicates of the same thing? i mean, roxy only makes so many bubble gum pink shirts in size small (perish the thought any one is caught in a size medium, being truthful... no, we must all lie to ourselves and squeeze into a size small, no matter how chunky we are).
ps.happy birthday to betsey! march 26
ok the abundance of "surfer style" shirts today was nauseating. i dont even want to COMMENT on eleanor's disgusting white capris that SHE DID NOT WEAR UNDERWEAR WITH. excuse me while i go throw my self off the roof.
now that i have returned... i talked to jake on the phone last night and today. hehehe yayyyyyy. im giddy. watch him like read this and think im so weird. but at least he knows i like him and that im not just stalking him or something.
ive decided that i am going to have an ally mcbeal fiesta with myself on friday. im such a tard, ive taped the last two episodes and havent watched them yet. so come friday night, i am going to sit my ass down on the couch and watch them. i dont think it will be that bad... i love that show. i just want some one to be my own personal larry for me. i want someone to kiss me the way he kisses ally. yes, i realize its a tv show but still dammit.
i dont know whats wrong with me tonight. im all kinds of lonely and pathetic. it sickons me and makes me want to not know me or be me. im sorry for spreading that shit and making it public to the world. please dont hate me. march 29
well.... what a past three days i have had. im still really sick, but i havent been absent from school yet... i think lacrosse is keeping me alive. that and possibly getting to hang out with jake this weekend (mass hysteria, what am i going to wear?? kidding....) i would call and probably be on the phone right now but i called my mom a nazi and she grounded me from the phone for a week.... shes such a communist. but jake is soooooo sweet! he stopped by practice tuesday looking for me but i wasnt there. mer. but how adorable is that? sorry for being all giddy but i cant help it. its been a while since i actually really liked someone.
im highly disgusted by some of the pictures i got back yesterday. in other words, the ones of the freshman (caitlin...) being GROPED by basically every horomone-driven, sex crazed male in her class. blackmail, you say? you betcha! sike... shes my friend i would never be so CRUEL and HEARTLESS and EVIL as to send them to her mother.... right. thats amusing.
ladies and gentlemen, tomorrow is game day for the sjph girls lacrosse team. and of COURSE its practically a monsoon outside, so you KNOW it will be cancelled and the game on saturday will be cancelled. its just our destiny to NEVER play a game, ever. april 1
happy april fools day folks. i just woke up so no one has really done anything to me. i dont really get into april fools day because im not that creative. im just watching my dad very closely when he makes my pancakes in case he puts something nasty in my pancakes.
"some people spend more on starbucks coffee than on campaign budgets. " some guy on the mclaughlan group this morning just said that. well wouldnt you? would you rather have a nice creamy frappacino, served chilled with a big crumbly brownie with huge chocolate chips or do you just want to give your money to a bunch of lying sumcbag politicians??
its really weird thinking about how criminals have families too. i mean when they are being anally raped, their families are just going about their normal lives. its gotta be on their minds but you still have to live your life. and what happens to their children if they are a single parent? do they go live with grandma and grandpa? or are they just going to be lost in The System. ending up just like their parent, in jail, someone's bitch, and eating food with maggots in it.
its been a while since i wrote about my personal life... its actually going fairly well and that frightens me. jake and i hung out friday... we went to the pet stores and visited heather but she wasnt home. it was fun because we just randonly went anywhere that we felt like going. saturday night sarah and i went to the mall and played in hot pocket for a while. and we were going to go underwear shopping with jake but that never really happened. we hung out with him most of the time at the music store. and we saw joey because he works at the arcade. and we saw jon. lol that was pretty funny. and we saw zack from hatworld. he immediately remembered us and was like "ohhh noooo. go away!!" so i made him give me a roll of paper towels and then i left. so all in all its been a successful weekend. i have to do some biology homework tonight but thats nothing special.
i had the weirdest dream friday night. it was raining white proceline toilets with black seats in my house and my mom was running aroun freaking out because they were leaving dents in the wood floors. and jim was in the back ground going ahhhoooooo and giggling. it was kinda strange.
i finally watched all my old ally mcbeal episodes yesterday. i feel fullfilled. content, even. april 7
its been such a long week folks. i cant believe i actually survived. not only was i pmsing, but i was doing good in school and playing lacrosse. so i am ready to die now. we had three games all back to back. and of course we lost all three of them. but we are getting better.... i hope.
yesterday was a pretty awful day. my mom forgot to leave the door unlocked for me so i could actually get inside the house. yeah so i had to waste poor mrs. popielasz's time and wait for someone and my mom wouldnt talk to me because she was busy with a patient and we had to push in a window and jim is all pissed off at me for doing that. hes just lucky i didnt take the naked baby angel and throw it through the bay window like i was planning on. and then this morning he was saying how the reason im upset with my mom was because my father is never there. just because i have a lack of a mother does NOT mean that its because i have a lack of a father. uh jim, why not just shut up and go kill yourself?
the only redeeming factor from yesterday was jake. we hung out last night and it was beautiful. and i just saw him at the mall a few hours ago so im still all happy and floaty. *content sigh* hehehe
next week is spring break.... YAYYYYYYY everyone do the chicken dance! im just so happy to be away from school for god knows how long. im just sick of those freaks. sarah and i sat on the porch on friday and just watched everything that went on with everyone. its absolutely ridiculous the drama that goes on. we witnessed matt and carley have a fight. and then eleanor getting involved and yelling at matt while carley just looked helpless (nothing new there). and then we witness patty crying over billy because apparently he cheated on her with "i-have-no-ankles" danielle rizzo. finally we saw the welcome of chris back to school from senior retreat by amber. until he got there she was wandering around like a lost puppy dog. its really sickoning.
so thats my daily insight for saturday. sorry i havent been online all week. ive been super busy. ill try to make it more frequent though. april 8
well its sunday folks. tomorrow i have to go back to the daily grind of school and lacrosse. but only for two days this week. then i am FREEEEEEEEEE. woo hoo.
sammie b is coming over today to work on our manhattan project! girl, we are SO mad scientists!!! i need to clean up a bit before she comes over though. im still in my pjs!!
i added a new poll. its kinda different from the ones i have been doing but its still cool. and i added a special part in there just for alan... (i not sleeping mr smith, i take good note!! hehe sammie!)
i know i should probably eat breakfast but i really dont want to. my dad doesnt have time to make me pancakes so im not even going to bother eating breakfast. i have my vanilla frappacino and thats enough. i dont know why im writing this. im just bored out of my mind and no one is online. and i DO mean no one. its kinda sad. its almost 11 and people are probably still in bed.... or at church being good little catholics. ahem... yeah.
ive been trying to write more poems but every time i try i get a mind block. ever since i put them up, i have had trouble writing them. and im all content now with my life so i have no angst to express. what, im going to write about my bad hair days?? i think not. i managed to write one in english class mainly because i think thats my most torturous moment. so its inevitable that something really bad has to happen. something really bad, just to make up for lost time. i want to be able to write them because when i did, i felt whole. but now i feel a different kind of whole. and i cant decide which is better. and its not like i can control either feeling. april 9
only one more day till spring break folks. oh the joy is overwhelming. it was so beautiful today. 90 degrees... about 105 in my house. but now we have the lovelly air conditioning on and i am happy. i didnt get to see my friend from the jeannie bussard center this morning. i was really upset. i look forward to his random kindness every monday morning. but ill survive. i cant wait till 9 tonight. its a new ally mcbeal AND jake is coming over. so im all happy.
nothing really exciting happened today. there was a HUGE spider in the hallway this morning and we were all freaking out but heather wouldnt let us kill it and it was so frightening. i felt ridiculous being all afraid of a little spider when it was probably scared shitless from us, but it could have been poisonous and deadly! knowing my school, it probably was.... april 11
*sigh* another day... another daily insight. but today is different. its the first day of spring break for yours truly. so i got to sleep till 10. i got to watch unsolved mysteries and the view and jerry so life is good. i have potatoe chips for breakfast with my frappacino (odd, yet satisfying) and im still in my pjs. this is the life that i want to lead. im considering never leaving the house again. if people want to see me, they can come over here and deal with my nappy hair and mismatched pajamas.
yesterday was lots of fun after school. erin, heather, and i went to the mall after school and we saw jake and phil and zak and all our mall buddies. it was lots of fun except some little BRAT kept blowing a whistle and i was ready to take it away from her. and heather randomly announced to the little kids that the easter bunny wasnt real... that was kinda bad. that was something i would do actually....
later last night, heather, jake, and i went to the park and walmart and best buy and taco bell. that was lots of fun but i think jake is upset because he didnt get his crackhead meal. im upset because he took the peppershaker from me, thus disenabling me from continuing heather's tradition.
you know, i read alyssa's thing on kissing and i cant help but whole heartedly agree. kissing is a beautiful thing. i mean, think about what you can express when you kiss someone. it could be so passionate that you feel weak in your knees and need to sit down (or lie down on a bed made in satin sheets....) or it can be a warm partially open mouthed kiss leading to much greater things. i suppose im just bored and my mind is wandering off and im just thinking about random things. but kissing really is great and everyone should have more of it!!! that was my warm and fuzzy moment of the day. oh wait, one more. dont do drugs and stay in school. yeah that about covers it...
ps. can you tell im sleep deprived?! april 12
day 2 of spring break. i moved furniture today in my room because i was vastly bored. it looks so beautiful in there now. maybe since i moved my bed ill be able to sleep. some how i doubt that....
i didnt really do anything today so there wasnt really anything for me to think about. ive been thinking though but not about something i care to share with the rest of the world. the people that matter know what im talking about.
i need something to do. i think tomorrow im going to clean my bathroom, just to occupy me. maybe for kicks ill re-arrange my mom's bedroom... no nevermind, she will skin me alive and feed me to the dog. so if anyone wants to do anything with me over spring break, call me. you know the number... april 14
seeing as how yesterday was friday the 13th, poop happened to me. i had to re-do this ENTIRE site because i did something to it. i STILL dont even know what that something was. but all i know is that i think its back to normal now. so sarah and i are going to the baseball game today. yep, going to watch some baseball with seibo. woo hoo! sike. they are playing against goretti, thats the only reason im going. maybe ill see john. i want to look HOT HOT HOT so i can show him what he missed and how sorry he should be. yeah, im not vengeful or anything. then sarah and i are gonig to the mall to get our ears peirced... its a kitten and momma cat bonding day. and its all because LULU DID NOT CALL HER LAST NIGHT. geez, hes over in the domincan republic, sitting on some sunny beach and shes stuck in fredneck, land of the mullets, and he cant even call her. what a loser.... j/k april 15
happy easter, girls and boys. hope you are all enjoying church and chocolate eggs. sarah and i watched some good old fashioned baseball yesterday... yeah, i saw john but i didnt talk to him. i was kinda frightened. he looks the same though and his position was right near where sarah and i were sitting. i felt bad for him because he was right by seibo and seibo is enough to make anybody psycho. im disapointed that only three guys wanted the surprise too. after that, sarah and i went to the mall and we got our ears peirced. it was quite a hassle because apparently they thought we were both 18. but then we had to get our parents in there and it was just retarded. and of course i had to go first, thanks sarah. i almost passed out after she was done though. i was not feeling to peachy. but im fine now. they dont even hurt now. so thats 5 holes all together now... i think it might be time to stop.
im not sure what my plans are for today.... mostly i think i might engage in mindless self indulgence. my dad is dropping me off at my moms around 1 because i think he and the woman are back together again. shes only called like ten times since i have been here at my dads this weekend. and shes catholic so my poor father is probably going to have to go to church. sucker.... sike. hes actually being really nice to me this weekend. and hes making me pancakes now.
uh oh, folks i might have some bad news. jim might be starting the process of removing our pumpkin from the from porch. i know, i know, its a tragedy. its only been there since... late september? yeah. and you can hardly notice the smell. but still, he wants the pumpkin to go away. more on this at a later date.... april 16
well today was.... a good day. yeah, it was. my dad got me another street sign so that makes me happy. im not sure where im going to put it yet though. probably in the garage with street sign #1. im determined to get them in my room though and keep them there.
jake and i watched the matrix today. i hadnt seen it for a while. now i know why. that movie always leaves me feeling very weary about the world. i mean, can you imagine if that was real?? that means the "spies" from fort detrick probably ARE spies... yeah they are still plotting my death, i swear. sarah, the munkie nooses are still in my backyard too... (fools run in! hehehe and I DONT GET DIRTY)
sarah and i were going to have a girls night out tomorrow but i dont think its going to happen. poop on a stick. we need more bonding rituals... no more peircings though for a while. my parents were cool with it, they dont give a poop what i do to myself. now i want my tattoo... my mom and i need to do that soon.
i did a new poll today... yeah if you can tell me who sings these songs, ill give you a cookie. and no fair looking it up or asking someone....
boys and girls, its been a while since i worked on the blackmail section but good news! i added ANOTHER picture to it.... so go and have fun!! april 17
i went shopping today with mi papa because he didnt have to work today. it was lots of fun because i got lots of new stuff and i got to harass jake for a little bit. my mom burnt dinner, so got to have pizza, so its all good. so no girls night tonight which really sucks. tomorrow my mom and i are going to my grandma's house and we get to see preston and celine and morgan so im REALLLLLLLY excited. i love seeing my cousins. they are the greatest.
the were problems at the fort today i think. my dad and i were driving by and there was a tank with its little missle releaser thing pointing at the people coming through the entrance. there was one at each entrance too. it was kinda scary. my dad said it might have something to do with today being the anniversary of the oklahoma city bombing, so all government buildings are under alert. that kinda frightens me... i dont need someone trying to bomb the fort, seeing how i live RIGHT BEHIND IT. that could be rather problematic. why cant the government find safe places for their bases and buildings, like the desert or the artic?
i added a new section called now playing. so check that out because it look me forever and a day to type out all the lyrics. and dont forget that i added a new picture to the blackmail section!! muhahaha. april 18
ummmmm i got to see my godson today there fore i have macaroni and cheese all over me. its in my hair, on my shirt, i even have some in my sock... but it was cool to see him. they grow up so fast. *sob sob* and then i got to go shopping!!!! i got a bathing suit and jeans and new runnings shoes so life is sweet.
ive been thinking about how i have to go back to school soon. thats gonig to really bring a shock to my system. i should probably start getting used to settling down at a reasonable hour again and consider waking up at a normal hour too.... or i can just shock my system and walk around like a zombie for the first few days back to school. its a personal choice i will have to make eventually...
by the way, the tank is STILL there. scary stuff. and the pumpkin is still truimphantly in its rightful place!!! april 22
sarah and i went shopping yeterday because of the lack of structure my father provides in my life. thus, joanna did NOT attend the track meet because of the ever changing mind of the WOMAN. but its all good. sarah and i had a grand ole time shopping, right?? we almost got kicked out of limited too because i sat on this little platform thing and they were giving us dirty looks (bitches!)... and we got birthday presents for stefany, so life is sweet. and i got ever MORE hair poop and face poop, so maybe ill look half alive tomorrow when i make my cameo appearance at school (DREADING THIS SEVERELY). and of course we finally got our purdy underwear. they are so purdies... hehehe and my dad got us KITTY BOWLS!! hehe they are so awesome. i ate my dinner out of mine last night. it was a thing of beauty. meow...
last night alyssa and i discussed our hfstival ticket strategy. i MUST get tickets this year. i want to see linkin park and staind (again) and good charlotte and incubus. heather and i are going to try to go both days, so then i can see incubus. i loooove them. *sigh* now i just have to get tickets. yesterday, jim got me and my mom and him aerosmith tickets.
i broke down and talked to john last night. he was online and i was in serious joanna panic mode (alyssa.... oh my.... arms flailing!) but it was ok. he and i had a friendly conversation and he asked for my new number. i doubt he will call but hey you never know.
its only 11:23 and my dad wants to drop me off at my moms in half an hour. his reasoning behind all this is to get right of "the kid" asap in order to get some vietnamese ass. much love, dad. april 29
ok people, my internet at my moms is fucked up.... so this is going to be weekend update... only temporary though, i hope. its been such a long week though.
monday wasnt too horrible. i think it was just from the illusion of sleep deprivation though. jake and i had a really good conversation before i went to bed and it was so cool. i love having covnersations like that, where you express your beliefs and thoughts. its so great.
tuesday, we had a lacrosse game and we played sooooooooo well. it was like 10-3 i think. and i got asked to prom by aaron fox, which is really cool. so, heather is going with chris barbara and sarah is going with steven harrington. its so cool that we are all going to be there.
then wednesday, we had another game, 13-0... i had to cover pee girl and i was kinda afraid... hey heather, mark your man.. SSSSSSSSSSS... hehehehe
thursday, we only had practice so im happy about that. then friday.... oh boy friday was a REALLY long day. we had a game (12-6.... and gillian got a yellow card!! IT WAS BEAUTIFUL) then i went over to sarah's blue lagoon and showered and put on my face and went to stef's birthday party. happy birthday stef!!! (kinda late though due to the lack of internet at my moms....) the party was pretty cool. marta and i had fun mixing my honey mustard stuff with her food stuff... and i had fun drooling over jon ballog (yay). then heather and i handed out balloons to random pedestrians and sang happy birthday to them. it was wonderful. after that, heather came home with me and jake came over and we all hung out. we hitched a ride to the mcdonalds and walked back. jake littered (his children are going to live in a trash dump) and heather threw straws in those guys car and they tried to run her over. then we all went home and chilled on the hammock and watched the fort upside down. then jake left, and heather and i tried to get online, but noooooo. and i got to see my mom when she cant home from work so that was really nice. then we went to bed and i fell asleep around 3 am and then we woke up at 5:30 but desided to go back to bed for another 30 minutes. well heather woke me up at 6:25 and was like "uhh joanna? its 6:25" so i was like OH SHIT. and we called my dad and he took us to fsk and we waited in line for 2 1/2 hours. we made some friends too. there was andrew, but he was kinda frightening. he had the same sweatshirt on as me. and heather saw tony and two of her ex boyfriends. one of them gave us both bracelets, so that was nice of him. and i took little naps on the sidewalk. the police were jackasses to us though. so after we got our tickets, heather and i were stuck at the mall till 1, waiting for my dad. so we harassed zak a lot and jake a little. and heather, jake, and kevin got in a rubberband war.
so it was a long week... i am absolutely EXHAUSTED. but I GOT TICKETS AND I AM GOING TO THE HFSTIVAL!!! oh god its a beautiful thing. and today is sunday... so i have a shitload of homework to do. i have 2 posters due this week, so i am going to get them done today. and i might start my biology one instead of procractinating like i always do. i think i am getting sick too because my ears really hurt and my throat too. im hoping its just really bad allergies because they are bad this year. i dont have time to be sick this month! this friday is prom, and then saturday is lizzie's dancefest (YAYY). the weekend after that is a day for ashley (i get to see spaceman spiff play again finally). then there is the hfstival. heather and i are being brave souls and going both days. im so excited. this is so awesome. i have been practically worshipping my tickets. but i am going to stop gloating over my tickets and go eat my breakfast now. april 30
yayyy my computer is fixed and its happy now thanks to abdul, my handy dandy sales representative at starpowers. thanks abdul!!
well today i had a case of the mondays.... god bless office space. and heather was sick today, so i was the only anarchist and i was a lone anarchist. it was sad. but i hope she feels better because we need her tomorrow! much love heroin bob.
nothing really exciting happened to me today. my mom is pissed at me beyond belief but i dont really want to think about it because its kinda sad and makes me wanna cry. so thats no good. *this is what i wrote today in my diary... i just felt like being truthful today*
may 5
if i were to die today, i want people to know the real me, not this false self i project. i want them to read my diaries, my poetry, my email. i want them to go through my stuff and cry because they never knew me. im at an all time low right now. i want to cry and im afraid that i will start crying any minute now. i dont want to see my father today. i was watching my ally mcbeal tape and it made me cry. it reminded me of all my horrible birthdays and i just have been wallowing in self pity. its a beautiful day outside, but i cant appreciate it. everyone is too busy for me. i was crying when i called sarah and she didnt even notice. what do i have left to cling to here? my best friend doesnt notice when i cry, or care. my father.... i dont want to think about him. im so alone right now. i cant see the future. i can only see now and how dark it looks. im so miserable and nothing even happened to me. i just started thinking and now i cant stop. may 12
well im back from my grandpa's house now... i had a wonderful time after breakfast with my cousin and her boyfriend.... yay. and i got a bunch of realy awesome stuff... i got a little buddha for my room and a zen water fountain and gone with the wind stuff. and my grandpa got me roses for my birthday! so im happy now, not to mention a wee bit tipsey.... but im cool. everything just feels kinda surreal right now.
its been a while since ive written. i got to stay home friday, so that made me happy. i feel sorry for all the poor saps that had to go to field day... hahaha i got to go shopping instead and i got some really awesome black pants. they are so purdy. pretty pretty pants... yay. and i got some cool sunglasses. they are nice and big and flamboyant and tacky. yay for them...
monday is robert downey jr's last ally mcbeal. its going to make me cry, i just know it. and i cant handle that. i hope ally's heart isnt broken. i just want her to be happy. mothers day
may 13
welll..... i just woke up. no headache = yay. i dont really know what im doing today and im slightly disoriented because my dad put my big illuminated frontporch bunny in my bathroom so when i turned the light on, it visually assaulted me. but im ok now. hes making me pancakes and soon i get to go home!!!!! i get to see my mom and tell her happy mothers day. i still have to wrap her present, but hey at least i got her one. its really pretty too.
im trying to remember if i have homework to do. and i want to know whether its worth doing it or not. school is almost over and yet painfully, i still have a lot of work to do. and for the same reason finals seem like they are going to be the death of me. i have so much information to remember and relearn. and i want to finish the year off with good grades but i think ive been slacking off so they will be bad... im not sure though because i thought that last quarter and i gt all a's and one b.... so who knows
i added a new secton today called mix tape, so check it out and let me know what you think. last night i added a message board too. im not sure if i am going to end up keeping it mainly because basically its the same thing as a guest book. but it at least gave me something to do last night. so humor me and go play with it and check out mix tape cuz i actually spent a lot of time on that one and it kinda means something to me. (please) may 14
im not writing fot the betterment of the god damn world today. im writing just because. today is a monday and i am fucking pissed at the world. i dont even know why. today streched on forever. i couldnt wait to be out of school and free from the lack of substance. so i get home and i watch maury and jerry and montel and that depresses me even more. i dont need to see fucked up people right now, im fucked up enough as it is. and tonight is robert downey jr's last ally mcbeal and i cannot handle it. so im not going to watch it. no one tell me how it is. im taping it and i will watch it when i dont hate everybody. THAT is what fucking drugs do to you. they get your favorite character kicked off your favorite tv show... fuck america and its stupid drug laws. may 17
well..i guess im in a better frame of mind, somewhat. andrew french made me brownies! so that helped... and rob burnt the new tool cds for me. and i didnt even have to ask... so those were the highlights of my week thus far... we had an out of uniform day today, so that was nice... and tomorrow is the hershey park trip. then i am sleeping over at heathers and then its musicfest... so i guess thats better than life was on monday...
we started cutting open unborn animals in biology this week... so multiple thanks to brandon and sam for actually touching it and to sarah for letting me sit next to the door and the trashcan. may 21
well, i had a lovelly busy weekend... it was absolutely glorious!! i got to see spaceman spiff play TWICE in the same day and i got to videotape them and that was the greatest thing EVER. musicfest was awesome. the chunks were cool, green is mean has gotten SO much better, spaceman spiff was as usual SPECTACULAR, and king django was pretty cool too. no more chances has gotten a LOT better too. on sunday i looked for a job... im still working on it. i think i might have a chance at beans and bagles, which is awesome. i miss my spaceman spiff tape... heather is borrowing it tonight and i really miss it!! i want to hear maple ave and lavender blues and unbelieveable and hot butt naked sex and i feel like making luv and dont you.... AND ALL THE OTHER SONGS!! tomorrow i get to get my longer tape so i can tape them this saturday... thats right people, SMS show THIS SATURDAY!! and then the hfstival sunday and monday!!! jesus, this week is going to take FOREVER to go by...
well... its monday and i find myself looking forward to ally mcbeal for one reason and one possibility. the reason is k-c and the sunshine band. the possibility is robert downey jr might be in the beginning where they are like "previously on ally mcbeal..." this is the first monday in a long time that i will be lacking my robert downey jr devotion hour. how will i survive without larry? i will have no one to look up to for romance. and now i have no idea what to look for in a boyfriend, because larry embodied most of the characteristics i love.... ok i think im getting carried away... may 25
im not really in the mood to be:
a) at my dads house
b)typing
but ill manage to cope... somehow. i have the most enormous headache from the evil paint fumes. im just happy to be able to escape them for the night. then tomorrow is a spaceman spiff show in west virginy... im trying DESPERATELY to get a ride for me and heather. and then sunday and monday are the hfstival. im having difficulty feeling excited about the weekend though for some reason. i still dont fully comprehend that i have tickets for the hfstivl... it seems like something is going to suddenly materialize out of nowhere and prevent me from going. that seems to be my luck with most things....
im not in a particularly optimistic mood. i feel like i just wanted a really sad episode of ally mcbeal even though i havent seen it since tuesday. ive given up for the time being on being a people person. i cant handle the unreliability of most of the people i know. i dont mean that in a mean way, its just the way things are. i try to be reliable for everyone. maybe thats my problem. im not sure. i just know that i feel that i cant even rely on myself these days... its just gotten hard to deal with the everyday bullshit. i suppose im just jaded from school and stressed because finals are soon. and so much emotional shit has been going on in my head and around me, i cant deal with it all at once, but it seems like i have to. may 26
well less a than 24 hours until the hfstival. i bet you are all excited for me and heather, right? you better be.... anywayssss.... its raining cats and dogs and its rather miserable. im still trying to get a ride to the spaceman spiff show tonight though.... im educating my dad about staind... hehe im making him listen to epiphany. that is such a beautiful song. actually the whole cd its awesome. and it didnt hurt that the boy at best buy was incredibly yummy looking... hehe erin... he smelled good. but anyways, i highly suggest getting "break the cycle". its GREAT.
oh wow the sun is coming out... maybe it wont suck any more to go outside...
rob and i had a really good conversation last night and a million thanks to him for making me feel better. im still befuddled right now though but its all good. june 2
well this is my update for the past week. im at my dads so therefor i can be online. i only have one more week to go before i am off groundation. dont even have the nerve to ask me why, those of you that matter, know why. and those of you that dont... well you dont. hfstival on monday was great. if you want a synopsis of the day, go to erin's website. im too much of a lazy bumfuck to type it all out. i just want the world to know that i got mike mushok's autograph, a free staind shirt, a guitar pick from fuel, and some other cool stuff. ill probably get my pictures developed tomorrow but there is no telling when i will update my pictures page. maybe over the summer...
i went shopping today but i wasnt really in the mood to get anything. so we went to the velvet lounge and i got a bracelet and tank top thing. im not sure if i like the shirt or not, it just looked like something i would consider wearing. and i felt like spending my dads money. i didnt see anyone i knew at the mall, only matt mccartey but i didnt say anything to him cuz i think he was with his girlfriend.
yesterday was the last day of classes for me. so that was a moment of joy in my hum drum life. yesterday was also the anniversary of marilyn monroe's birth. she would have been 75. there was a marathon of all of her movies on amc, so i got to see part of bus stop and i got to watch "diamonds are a girls best friend." that was great. and i taped the movie that she never got to finish making (somethings got to give.) it was so great. the colors that were used in it were absolutely beautiful. lots of caribean blues and greens and of course her platinum hair and deep blue eyes.
i saw my moms piano teacher and his lover at sports authority today. i love gay people. they are so nice to everyone because they know what its like to have people be dicks to them. and i like gary's boyfriend because he always has cool dr martins on and today i was wearing my doc sandals so we had a dandy conversation about that.
i just want summer to come. im so weary of everything and everyone. and i honestly think that i need a new artistic project to work on. maybe ill paint gold stars on my closet doors at my moms. i really want to paint something... like another book shelf. maybe ill move my furniture around after finals are over. june 3
hmmm sunday morning. of course hardly anyone is online, even though its 10 am. im going to get some coffee. mmm yay for coffee. im thinking about the monotony of my life. i need something to shake things up.... in a good way. im not talking about getting in trouble again. im talking about maybe meeting a new person or going somewhere. but next week is finals so thus i am stranded here in fredneck for the next week. there is a show at a new place called the black circle this friday. i am really going to try to go (matttttt) but im still not sure yet. i havent asked my mom yet. i think i will see her on tuesday, so i will ask her then. my dad is going to canada next weekend with my grandpa and some old war veterans. we went to walmart to stock up on fishing crap and i told him that they would need a massive first aid kit. but nooooo my dad said that just because they are all veterans, nothing will happen to them. my theory is that they will be too slow to do anything about it. or their brains will be too alzheimer's ridden that they cant remember what to do, nonetheless where they are.
so last night when i couldnt sleep (as usual) i was thinking about possible jobs. im thinking about pulling a julia and working at mcdonalds. i mean, it cant be THAT bad.... can it? i just need to make money. and i dont think working one day at beans and bagels is going to cut it. maybe i would be able to balance both.
i really need to start studying. i have english and spanish tomorrow.... thats great. i hope its the last time i ever have to see miss williams. that woman honestly needs anger management. june 8
well im finally ungrounded from the computer... i had my interview with mcdonalds today. yeah i start thursday. whoop dee doo... its defiantely going to be an experience i wont forget. who knows, maybe it wont suck. im just glad ill get first dibs on all the happy meal toys now. and i can get hello kitty toys next week. i think they will still have them.... and i get a cool name tag. oh yeah! and i want ALL of you to come and visit me. its the mcdonalds on rosemont avenue, right by the cvs and food lion. but if you harass me, ill spit in your food... j/k
im finally out of school. yesterday was a great day. erin, katie, marta, and i all hung out and had girly time. it was so great. we went to the mall and saw jake and zack for a while. and saw some really cool underwear. then we all went back to my house and had girl talk time. it was a truly beautiful thing. these are the moments that i will remember forever. these are my glory days... just felt like getting sentimental...
so im at my dads and im bored out of my mind. im considering dying my hair. i have the dye with me... its called cool medium blonde. yup, folks im going back to my natural color. how frightening. we will see how awful it is.
its friday night and im sick and i have nowhere to go. i wish i could be at the cowtipped show in frederick, but its in the ghetto and i dont really feel like getting raped tonight. sorry matt. another time k? june 9
well i dyed my hair... im still waiting for it to dry now. then i will see just exactly how blond it is. blowdriers arent exactly present in my dads house (which i have lovingly nicknamed the asylum). its all part of the spartan, bachelor existance.... except hes not a bachelor... but ok. yeah the woman left a pair of shoes here. shes vietnamese so her feet are all tiny. i asked my dad if she bound them, but then i remembered that the japanese do that, not the vietnamese. thats what happens when i watch a&e.
so im looking around and i realize i have nothing to do today. no need for me to put on a bra.... ive really become anti-bra lately. i think because they are so binding. and its not like my boobs will sag. theres nothing to sag. my mom kinda gets annoyed at me because i leave them all over the house. i even put an old one on the dog just to piss her off.
oh, news flash: the victim is ok.... she only got 4 stitches. now when i see her i sing stitches by orgy to her. she just looks at me and begs for food. shes still kinda afraid to go outside though. but shes getting over the bruised ego thing. she actually barked at a dog yesterday. so thats progress. shes not emotionally destroyed... although i would like to sue those bastards for her emotional distress.
my dad is going to canada tomorrow for a week i think.... wow, maybe my life wont be so stressful. |
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